Let's just eliminate all the bullshit, shall we?

Friday, May 31, 2013

Network of Double-Standards & Practices, Un

The Halliburton Profit Scheme, a.k.a. "protecting overseas investments"
Another Brainiac moment, relying on illogic and
avoidance of reality;

Let's keep worrying about all the overseas
improbabilities and eternal entanglements of their
internal strife: Iraq, Afghanistan, Korea, and such....

...since we only have 1, 360 active, home-grown,
fully-armed, bomb-making, anti-government
American militias *, many with bases training
people to violently overthrow the nation in a
concentrated terrorist war.

(We even know their names, addresses, and a lot of
the details. That's called 'smart,' not 'totalitarian,' by the way.)

Yeah...let's allow that to keep simmering til
something definitively happens, while we continue
shipping troops overseas and spend billions to police
other countries. (Political distractions make for better
news reports than sociological realities.)
Sounds like a plan, Stan.


Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Never Shackled Again

It's 2013....
 and a poised, dignified, educated,
 classy lady of color is still largely
disrespected as an 'uppity Negress'
(polite version) by the actually ignorant
masses and haters.

Maybe the South did 'win,'
(such as it is.)

Keep on rolling, Michelle...
and doing your good works.
Let the rabble-rousers
and the smoke-blowers keep
on clowning. We know the truth.


Friday, May 24, 2013

This Weak's Noose

Nathan "Let's Make a Deal--with the Constitution" Deal

The Gov'nuh released a statement over the "Bibles
removed from all Georgia state parks and cabins as a
result of complaints" non-issue. It should have gone
something like this:

"I have done prayed and prayed, and in the truest
heart of little sweet an' innocent baby Jesus' shed
blood, I cain't for the life of me figure why folks can't
have the Good Word in their rooms! So to help save
the lost souls who pay money to stay in state-run housing,
I have reinserted the Lord's Laws back into those rooms!

And until such time that a special committee can meet
(when Hell freezes over,) to determine what needs to be done
(since having religious documents supported by the state's funds
is a complicated, hard-to-figure issue beyond my pay grade,)
that is where I intend them to stay! Cuz next to the Lawrd, my
word is Law! (Well, actually, since it's all interpretation, my
word is the same as his 'word,' so..)
Thank goodness there's no other issues this week to
distract me from my work on The Lawrd's payroll!"


Friday, May 17, 2013

Redundancies and Revisitations: "Church Hags"

Ol' Marfa

By way of introduction to my retreading old shit--
by which I mean walking a mud hole on some old shits--
let's first revisit Friendship United Methodist Church in
sunny Donalsonville, Georgia...once more the origin point
for some First Class, Grade A, Evil Hags from Hell.

(Did you happen to notice the painters on the cherry-pickers
a few weeks back? Yup--putting a new paint job on all the
white paint on the joint. That's right--gotta make sure it
stays niceeeee and white....don't want that fading!)

L'il Beth
So, there is a "Seminole Woman's Club" here in town.
No, not a "women's" club...a "woman's" club. And
since there's nothing else to do around here, my poor
old mother asked as to how to join the club, since all the
members of her book club are also engaged in this "woman's"
club (since the membership of every group in town is essentially
made up of the same dozen or so old biddies.)

First, one hag calls over another hag to 'answer her question
more thoroughly.' That leads to her being given some bullshit
answer about how the group doesn't always meet at the library,
so that might be confusing. (Well, bitch, no one asked where
they met--so obviously you're the confused one.)

Then another witch gets called over, buck passed.
This one says the meeting room capacity is only 36,
and that's how many members they currently have.

Well, uh...WRONG for starters; the library meeting room
has a capacity of like 200 people. Of course, the same bitches
that are in this club are also on the library board, so....
(You know they have to have their nose in every damned
bit of business!)

Ohhh! Classy! Elitism--a white woman problem.

So then yet another 'member' gets pulled over to hem and haw
some more to both my mother and another non-native outsider
who has also expressed interest in the group and its meetings.

This last one explains that the group is exclusively comprised
of church members of the Friendship United Methodist Church
and therefore someone who isn't a member couldn't possibly join!

To which Moms inquired in astonishment, alongside the
other newbie, "How is anyone supposed to get to know
anyone if you have to already be involved to be allowed to join?!?"
Well, obviously, that was 'Tough Titty, Miss Kitty' blow-off time for
these fumbling retards who poo-pooed the whole thing and trailed
off to their next meeting of some grand importance.

(Whew! Crisis averted; non-believers and lesser-knowns
avoided at all costs!)

What exactly is it about this delusional bunch of old bitches that
makes them think their shit doesn't stink? What are the particulars
of their very obvious problems?

Cuz here's a newsflash for 'em if'n they hadn't figured it out;
Y'all from little old hole-in-the-wall, Georgia, Population: Dropping
Fast Like Flies. A dollar extra in your bank account and your nose
up in the air do NOT qualify you as anything more than insane elitist
snobs. It doesn't give you the basis for elitism...no matter how much
exclusivity you surround yourselves with.


Most of these old bats are so close to being in the ground, or going
back into their sarcophagi with their dusty decrepit bandages, I guess
they won't be changing their ways. And the bottom line is this: if
THAT'S what the group is comprised of, then certainly no one else
wants in to begin with! Thanks for the heads up!

So, the only question is--since these old hags have phased themselves
out, who will be willing to start up an inclusive REAL Women's Club
of the Seminole County area....one that isn't a bunch of stuck up old
dinosaurs looking to fake relevance by exerting their small town 'power'
over their intellectual and character-filled superiors?

Step up.

(Oh, and is the county-funded library actually allowed
to house groups whose membership is not open to the
public, or that practice exclusivity based on certain
prerequisites? I guess that means the KKK can hold their
meetings there, too! Never mind--I guess they already do.)


Tuesday, May 14, 2013

The Past is Doomed to Repeat You

"I GOTS you!"

The South--like too-close families or relationships past
their prime but not yet pronounced dead-- is like quicksand.

Once it pulls you in, you ain't going nowhere.

And on the off-chance that someone pulls their
sorry, soggy, sauna-ruined behind from the bog
and sets themselves free, they'll be endeavoring to
escape from the grainy residuals and crumbs that
stay cemented in your nethers for a lifetime.

The stinking, sickeningly sticky mantra of your former
fellows coming back to you from the verge--
"You can't get far. I will always be with you."

(That Southern specialty of curses buried in
hospitality and concern.)

Such is the haunting and the burden of the
specialized forces who are reluctantly Southern.


Saturday, May 11, 2013


King George Bush, Puppet Supreme

Clarence "Uncle" Thomas

Big-Dick Cheney

Little Johnny Boehner



Anita "Ain't-Nobody-Got-Time-for-That" Hill

Michael "Bringing-it-Hard, Keeping it Real" Moore

Dixie "Speak Your Mind, Stand Your Ground" Chicks

Bradley "We DESERVE to Know" Manning

Hillary "Telling it Like it Is, Won't Back Down" Clinton
Don't let "My Little Pony-Shows"
get it twisted for you.

The Truth may not be popular,
but it's always the best policy.

And we're watching you when
you can't seem to follow suit.