Let's just eliminate all the bullshit, shall we?

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Change in Tradition: No Presidential Pardon for Turkey

"Hmmmnnn....kinda greasy...slimy, actually....
way too old a bird...too many toxins in the
blood. I think the white meat is tainted.
But there is a certain...deja vu...to
tearing up this bird's ass!?!"

What can I say, Mr. President;
you're spot on in your analysis!

Back in the kitchen....
short work was made of your recent kill!

"Hey, when I said I wanted to help feed people, this
isn't what I had in mind! I didn't mean what I meant
when I said what I said, and now I wanna recant
since it cost me--I'm dead! Hey--I can come back from this--
I'm still good!"

Wah wah wah!

This Thanksgiving....

What a turkey.


Monday, November 19, 2012

Justin Bieber Wins Artist of the Year - AMA 2012

So, it's looking like Little Justin may need to move to Colorado or
Washington real quick like if he wants to stay out of jail....cuz he
was sure 'nuff flying high in Duh-ville last night!


Friday, November 16, 2012

You Can Keep A Bad Man Down

Shitty Mitty had some more words of Wist-dumb for
supporters of his on Wednesday. (Man, this guy's
stuff just writes itself!) His true face, once more
revealed as he obliviously runs mouth with witnesses!

He blamed his loss in the election on the key groups that
President Obama targeted in his campaigning; Blacks,
Hispanics, young people (and I think we can read
between the lines and assume women and gays
were lumped in there, too!) His racist blame-fest
promotes how unwilling he is to accept culpability,
and underscores what a clueless fuck he is.

He said that the President was only able to swing their
loyalty because he promised them 'gifts.'
From here, it's not rocket science; who got
promised what falls into pretty straight lines
of racial profiling and stereotyping on Smitty's part.

You know, dude...the more you speak, the
more clear a picture of you emerges.
The real, racist, elitist, outta touch goon
comes shining through in technicolor.
You're kind of your own worst enemy..
but I guess that would be kind of hard to admit
to oneself...kind of like conceding.

Let's be clear, Willard;
you lost because you're a loser.
You lost because people were paying attention.
You lost because people could see through your
shuck and jive.
You lost because people want to progress past the scary
conservatism that you creepily represent.
You're a fake...a boob...a schmaltzy con artist
and a pampered douche.

Take some responsibility, and, hey--
buy a clue, why don'tcha?
Obviously you can afford one.


Thursday, November 15, 2012

Washington's Latest Extremist Cray-Cray

Condi Rice, who peddled false intelligence
to Congress and the public...misinformation
which led to nearly 4,500 American deaths
(not to mention long-term survivor burdens)
and conservative estimates of 100,000
Iraqi deaths....still hailed to this day as  
a Republican national hero.

Susan Rice, having reported information that
has not even been proven to be false intelligence,
 vilified, demonized, and scapegoated by the Republican
right wingers regarding the deaths of 4 Americans.

Is the pattern clear enough for you, yet?

John McCain, doddering and contentious
ridiculous fool...
an old has-been with no credibility or respectability
left, seeks to stay in the limelight by getting
on board the train to Crazy Town with
the rest of the treasonous anti-Obama haters.


Tweens don't know what's good!

Nope. Sorry; you can't run
fast enough to escape the stink.

Looks like December 21st is
no longer the end of the world, folks!

The real Black Friday is here.


Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Key & Peele: Obama's Anger Translator - "Victory"

These guys are so spot on and hilarious that I bust a gut no matter
how many times I watch it!

Now, at first, I was sort of thinking that I ought to be a gracious winner
and lay low with the "Congrats" and the festivities and the being joyous
that we dodged that bullet on the 6th.

But these sideways, psychotic, backwoods, inbred chicken-pluckers who
are intent on slicing and dicing the entire nation are out of their minds!
Secession! Gun sales! Crazy talk! Racist tweets! Assassination efforts!
Endless complaints! Anxiety fest! Doomsday scenarios! Conspiracies!
It's really quite too much.

There's no placating them; they don't want to be okay!

And the nay-sayers and haters are obsessed and consumed with hating on

President Obama (going against the very system they were counting on to
elect the man they wanted) and are going to pout and stomp feet and act
like kids until they get what they want.

It's a white-hot mess, and the crazy conservatives would have been all
over instigating mess with Obama supporters, so I say....
"Kick it, Key & Peele...speak that truth!"


Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Inner Monologue

Dirty scum-sucking poor people...
wait'll I get in office and have the
power to take that food out of your
baby's mouth, pull the plug on Granny,
and reclaim those homes!

A Real Comedian

Well, a joke of a record when it comes to equality, at least!

Will the real Mitt Romney please stand up?
And not as a failed stand-up comedian, thank you very much.
And certainly not as a stand-up guy.

A proudly peacocking bully and anti-gay prick,
whom we already know partook in at least one violent attack
of humiliation and abuse on a student perceived as gay.

Lip service is nothing; actions speak volumes.

Both Sides Now

Vote Romney! If you want to get exactly the opposite of what he's promising!

His own face gives away the fact
that he's lying! (And so does his record!)
Here are the facts:

- No people skills

- No interest in disaster relief

- A Job Destroyer, not a Job Creator

- Out for special interests, especially big business

- No diplomatic skills

- Opposes stem cell research for you, but uses it himself

- Changed positions on every single major issue

- No interest in the poor or middle class

- Anti-woman, anti-black, anti-gay, anti-Latino

(and so on...and so on...)

But, hey--since Romney is allllll about
helping America out and saving us all from
these hard times we're in...so concerned
about the future of this country...I guess
when he loses the election he'll be
dedicating all his time to volunteering.

You know...like he has been with the bottled water
and the soup kitchen theatrics lately.
Or assisting our President fulfill the
wishes of the people in this nation, right?

It must be true...
cuz he told me so himself!

Our one-man
King Arthur riding in on his white (700) horsepower
Royals Royce...out of the goodness of his
blessed little Christian heart. What a guy.

Wolf in Sheik's Clothing

WHAT IF.....Mitt Romney were given a truth serum?!?!

Mitt Romney: "Let me tell you about my plan for creating 12 million new jobs!"

Crowd member: "Okay..."

Mitt Romney: "Okay what?"

Crowd member: "Tell us...your plan."

Mitt Romney: "Oh....Well....uh....I plan on one of two roads.....pulling the
jobs out of my ass, or finding a magic wand I can wave."

Crowd member: "So there is no actual plan?"

Mitt Romney: "Quit damned pressing me for details! MY god...the
things you people expect! Just give me what I want! I want to be in charge!

Republicans Endorse Mitt Romney

A Clearer View

"Amazing! You can't even see the strings!!"

The Puppet Masters stand revealed.

Come on...you knew
Pinocchio couldn't operate on his own!

Get it Lined Up!

Okay, so there may be some inconvenience
and even discomfort involved in exercising
your patriotic duty today...
DEAL with it!

(Bring lawn chairs, a book, and a snack!)

Be late for work (unless you're
a brain surgeon or a nuclear power plant
operator, natch!) or have swollen feet
or get a bad back....
it's a small price to pay!

Because if their boy Willard Smitty wins,
he's taking us BACK...to some of
his favorite periods in history!
You'll have plenty of time to wish
you'd just damned well waited in a long line...

...when you're back working on a plantation
or having a camp for concentration.

It's not just an option,
it's not just a right...
it's a Responsibility!
VOTE to protect our future!

Monday, November 5, 2012

Chris Rock - A Special Message For White People

I Love Halloween, but...not this much.

Looks like the "End of the World" predicted
for the ass-end of 2012 may have been
quite accurate.

If we stick our heads up out of the ground on
Wednesday and see the dark, deadly, shadow of news
headlines declaring "Romney/Ryan Win Election,"
it'll definitely be time to hide until winter is over.

The long, painful 4-year winter of our nation's
death and dismemberment.

Be very afraid;
Frights and Fears may not be
contained to October 31st this year.


Saturday, November 3, 2012

All the News that's Fit to Print

The following major newspapers have all endorsed
President Obama as their pick for the 2012
Presidential campaign.
Thank goodness some in positions of power
are immune to the hype and rhetoric.