Let's just eliminate all the bullshit, shall we?

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

When Evil Penetrates the Home front (and rear)

I was checking messages on the phone and then I heard it.

My stomach imploded as the cold, withered hand of Satan crawled
up my asshole to accompany the Deliverance-banjo-themed screech
of the 700 Club owner telling me of 'God's graces.'

The moron who blamed gays and anti-abortionists for the September
11th attacks...telling ME about God. Offering for HIM to pray for MY
soul. The guy who blames natural disasters on Democratic presidents
and gay rights. This knuckle-dragging ignoramus has something to
offer me?

The One Who Shall Remain Nameless lest he wrest my soul was
on the recording, selling whomever was unfortunate enough to hear
of how great his god was. Well, for starters, if he's allowing you to
present his message to the world, one things for certain; either you're
doing the work of the wrong guy, or he ain't fer reals!

Because failed Presidential candidate Robertson is a scheming, lying,
nut bag with delusions of grandeur and a hate-streak a mile long.

I want everyone with a clue and a conscience to take a moment
and pick up the phone...maybe while fixing dinner or doing dishes,
when you have a minute to be left on hold while you wait for an
operator. Call Pat's Prayer Buddies line and clog it up so they can't
bilk any more old ladies out of their pensions.

The number is 1-800-759-0700

And when they answer, tell them you DO want to have them take
a prayer request. The request is;
A) That Pat find a soul.
B) That Pat get a clue.
C) That Pat grow a beating heart.
and D) That Pat actually met the real Jesus and learn something.

Enough with the charlatans and clowns.

And please...do pass this on to ALL your friends.

Monday, August 29, 2011

Hurricane Bitch-Slap

I'm not a masochist. I just want to point that out before starting.

It annoys the shit out of me to see all the attention paid to a

I'm from Florida; I know they're scary and devastating and
not to be taken lightly. I'm also not a cad, and I know that those
estimated 35 or so people killed were real people. I don't
begrudge attention paid to them.

What I am against is the storm of sensationalism that everyone
gets caught up in.

This isn't a Movie of The Week. (Jesus; do they still even
have those anymore? Or Hallmark Presentations? Or After-
School Specials? anyways....) No one is going to be brought
closer together by the loss of power, or being trapped in a small
room, or by going without a signal for their phone. If anything,
all that togetherness may lead to more fatalities.

No, it's the same old circus. Zero attention to the continuing
pandemic of HIV spread and all the most vulnerable communities
being hit. (Here's a hint; it's more than 35 people being devastated
by Hurricane HIV, even as I sit here and type this.)

What about hunger? Damned idiot church people are hung
up on bringing more babies into the world trying to outlaw
abortion, and meanwhile not doing diddly to feed and care
for what we have. (Relevance; People DIE every day...in America,
from starvation, hunger, malnutrition, and eating tainted foods and
water. Oh yeah bitches...this shit is for real.)

But no coverage around the clock until Hurricane Hunger passes.

It's all great fun to run around the country getting wet and
standing around waiting for lightning to strike, but where's the beef?
When are our 'journalists' going to get serious about the real threats
to this country.

Being regular doesn't make danger less dangerous.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Fanatical Unctuous Conniving Kooks Enticing Republican Suckers

I thought Fascism had maybe hit a lull. Oh, Robert...

The Culture Wars continue. All of these tired old crooks are
plowing through the Presidential nominee campaigning with
frighteningly barbaric and ignorant rhetoric.

-They incite people to be hateful and short-sighted.
-They stir up the anxieties of the people.
-They use barely concealed race-baiting.
-They disrespect and undermine the office of the Presidency.
-They promote misinformation.
-They lie, manipulate, and con.
-Their passionate hate for gays is obsessive and troubling.

These clowns are a disgrace to our nation. They are just
thugs who want power and will pay off (or get paid off by)
whomever necessary to get it.

They pretend they are morally superior, and toss around
this whole "God-and-country" angle to catch the sheep
in their snare. They want to legislate morality and religion,
and aren't even interested in trying to hide that fact!

You know who wants to control what other people do and
think and say? Fanatical, unbalanced, tightly wound nut-jobs.
(Who want to work on you because they're so afraid of
what's going on with them!)

It's 1936 Nazi Germany, ladies and gentlemen, and it's
taking place here in America. This is how 'simply' it starts.
This is how it insidiously worms its way in.

We should be afraid, we should get aware,
and we should stop buying the bullshit.

These are dangerous times with a fragile economy and
a lot of scared and angry people; that's a bad combination,
and I don't appreciate these carpet-bagging FUCKERS
taking advantage of people so they can try and shove their
agenda down our throats.

They want to Tear us all apart so they can get what they
selfishly desire.

We're better than this; please, please prove to me that
this is still true.

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Bachmann Debacle redux: "Losing It"

Yeah. The great thing about the Fair is...you can always chow down on
the stuff you cain't get at home.

Silly bitch.

In case you missed it, Michele and Marcus Bachmann and 2 blonde
bimbo aides basically gay-bashed Don Lemon (openly gay anchor
on CNN) at the Iowa State Fair on Thursday.

Marcus has all the typical rage against his fellow brethren who are
courageous enough to live their lives openly. It's not speculation;
the attack was all caught on tape and witnessed and Lemon
reported on it live shortly thereafter.

Do these people have mirrors in their home? Do they realize how
out of control and obvious they are? How long is this charade going
to continue?

Damn I bet that sausage tasted good. That bitch look hungrier than
a Muth'.

The Circus is in Town

Barnum said there was a sucker born every minute, and I counted
at least 8 minutes worth on the TV screen last night!

Thanks to a conservative local business owner, I was able to view
the Faux News pile-up while sitting in air-conditioned comfort at
a fast food restaurant.

First, let's address the elephant NOT in the room; the shameful
inadmission of Fred Karger, another Republican presidential candidate.
We can have Black Republicans and Women Republicans as long
as they're bat shit crazy or stiff enough to screw Minnie Pearl, but
evidently Queer Republicans is still "oh-so-next-century." gag.

Ron Paul tore up some serious ass, as per usual, and showed the
rest of the clowns how it's done (both with moxy and stance.)

Bachmann disappeared for a while; no one noticed since she left
a wooden dummy with a helium-filled balloon attached in her place.
She then answered a question regarding whether or not her
'submissiveness' to her husband (which she has talked of before)
would play a part if she were President. She side-stepped by saying
that she had a good marriage (if closeted beards and repressed
psycho-sexual rage is your bag,) and that, in an alternate reality if
she were to win the nomination, she would still wear the strap-on.

The Obama-bashing was fierce. Our President needed spiritual
forces to keep him safe last night; the demonizing was in full swing.
Did you know that our current President was responsible for all
wars, the deficit problems, state rights being eroded, a series of rapes
on the upper West side, and most acne? I think someone slipped in
global warming too, but I was so awash from all his other crimes I
may have missed it.

When Bush-League was in his stolen office, no one DARED to
disrespect the man because, you know, cowards and opportunists
go with the flow. It's open season on "O" though, and all the lackeys
are puffing out their peacock chests like they're bad mamma-jammers.
Nothing could be further from the truth.

Romney was Romney, which is to say he looked as pretty as he could
and so did his ever changing answers.

Santorum tried to out-pretty him, and for a mo' I thought they might
do a Glee-inspired mash-up of a Babs song and talk of their struggles
to be so very 'real' in this plastic, plastic world. Or maybe they could have
aired their off-camera kiss.

Santorum tried to appeal for anti-Iran sentiment by--hold on to your
valuables, sweet ones--talking about how the Iranians are horrible to
gay people! Wow. Just...wow...the pair on him. (Well, when he's in a
Fox News crowd of paid-attendee Republican supporters and fellow
ne'er-do-wells.) And of course, the 'Anti-Iran" tangents were--with the
exception of Paul--really just "Obama's bad international policy is making
us vulnerable! NRA unite!"

Gingrich; Still alive? Still telling others how to be morally correct
whilst profiteering and living foul? Oh wait....that's what the Reich lives

Huntsman; Billionaire's son. Out of touch; again, business as usual.

Herman Bain; sounds like "McCain"...because if you close their eyes,
you can't tell there's a diff. Another "Business owners know how to run
a country" moron.

Pawlenty. Yawn.

Ron Paul really is the best of what there is here. There is no way he will ever
win any Republican ticket because he is smart, progressive, realistic on
foreign policy, truthful, moral, and direct. Too bad, really.

The Big Cheese Perry, and his Uber-headcheese, Moose Mess, were
around the way/in the way...trying to steal thunder as usual. They'll
have it...deception rules.

Unless Li'l Jeb Bush throws into it by January. Hmmnnnn.....

That might qualify this as Three Ring.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Mitt Romney (rightfully) heckled

(mnnnrrr mnnrrr mnrrr! The sun...it burns!)

Jeezus Louise-us, Wilma.

Mitt Romney heckled at the Iowa State Fair after
announcing (with no irony) the assertion that
"Corporations are people, too!"

Well, Mitt the plastic man, maybe if a corporation
is a person, you should go screw one.

Oh wait...you already have; you're in bed with
big business and that's why your silly ass is still

You go whichEVAH way the fugging wind blows,
and scratch any back that will scratch yours.

If the Anti-Christ were to have a hand in this
next election...oh whoopsies! There I go again!
He already does; ANY of the Republican nominees

have demons and devils written all over them.
And behind them. And in them.

The more things change....

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Lady Justice got more problems than the eyes

They say Justice is blind, but I'm damned certain the bitch is
deaf, dumb, blind, lacking in personal grooming, and probably
has a few other issues to boot.

After all, Justice is only as sound as those pursuing it, right?

Our society is only of as sufficient character and pride as
those who represent it, including members of the public
who serve as Jurors and Grand Jurors.

I had cause to see just where the mindset of my fellow
citizens was this week. What the quality of elected
representatives and officials were. What the status of
our court system is.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Everybody wants freedom, but nobody wants to sacrifice.

We certainly deserve what we get.

Cluster Pluck Central

I never cease to be amazed at the bottom-scraping abilities of
government agencies. It seems like they are determined to fill
the bureaucratic ranks with candidates that induce much
head-scratching and confusion as to how said candidates became
employed, and, certainly, how they stay employed.

The local library has borrowed a troll from some unfortunate
(now-unprotected) bridge and refuses to give it back.

A certain postal worker continuously can't get the right mail in
the right boxes, but brags about his steep salary.

The local D.A. has petitioned to legally change the meaning
of his position's initials to "Dumb Ass."

DFACS....Census workers.....(Dear sweet Jesus hanging on
the cross....it's really too much like shooting fish in a barrel.)

At the heart of all the enmity is my jealousy...I admit it.

I can't GET a job for love or money...but nincompoops and
troglodytes abound in government positions.

Where's mine?

I do hereby contend and attest that I can and will:
* Show up late
* Take multiple days off
* Work at a snail's pace
* Learn to say "Not my job," "Not my problem,"
   and "Wrong department" in my sleep
* Sneer condescendingly
* Have bad hygiene
* Complain about my job while on the clock
* Act disgusted to have to actually work
* Ignore people seeking assistance
* Refuse to learn any aspect of my job

See? I'm qualified!
Where do I sign up?