Let's just eliminate all the bullshit, shall we?







Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Southern Family Tree

There are all different kinds of rednecks, as some folks may be
surprised to learn.

Make no mistake about it; I am Southern-born and raised,
Podunkia-based, country-ass redneck....even though many
here would not claim me (or even actively seek to disown me!)

But they're looking at the incidentals; the externals they disagree
with or don't care for. They, too, fail to recognize the evidence
of multiple clans...separate sides of the Southern Family Tree.

What my fellow Southerners get sidetracked by and turned off
by is my openly-drawn-to-other-men, artistic-nature-having,
leftist politics-loving, impish self. But that's only part of identity.

I'm on the shared branch of "Golly-Gosh-Darn-Sweetie-Sugar"-
talking, love-to-hear-my-own-voice mouth-running, take the
neighbors a Tupperware of extra food, say-too-much straight-
shooter, corn-bread-fed, okra-loving, piss in the yard, big-dog-
having, scavenging-and-thrifting addicted, wrestling-watching,
contempt-for-authority-sporting, Don't-give-a-rip fashion-impaired,
crazy Southerner.

Fun for parties and special events.



But I am most definitely not of the divergent branch (although, I
suppose that's what they would consider me and mine) which
consists of porch-yelling, chain-smoking, Nascar-loving, gun-
toting-and-worshipping, tobacco-spitting, double-speak-spouting,
half-assed-mouthpiece-for-Baby-Jesus strutting, country-morals-
having, "What-I-heard-was--" endless gossiping, honor-bound
pot-stirrers and shit-starters, and so forth.

But these different branches might as well be different planets.

Even as we live side-by-side, often times the only real common
tie is a willingness to be 'extra-related' to cousins, wink-wink,
nudge-nudge.

And really, that just creates more animosity since it creates a
competitive market.

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