Let's just eliminate all the bullshit, shall we?

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Twilight of the Oh-My-Gawds

The real love story?

Is there anyone out there who doesn't believe that the current
Robert Pattinson/Whatshername drama is all a big, staged press
fiasco just to put their names and the franchises into the public
eye? (After all, there's no such thing as bad press in Hollywood.)

Here's the thing; both Taylor Lautner and Robert Pattinson not only
seem completely gay, but there have been rumors about their
sexuality 'threatening' to come out for some time now. Seems about
the right time for a big heterosexually-charged scandal to reinforce
the 'straight' couple's supposed legitimacy.

Now, my radar's always been excellent. And it isn't just the fact that
Pattinson is English, or fey, or has long shiny lustrous hair, or plays
the whole somber-soul searching-wounded puppy dog thing so well.

It's not that Rob is artistic and sensitive and an actor.

It's not that he has smoldering onscreen chemistry with Lautner.

Well, maybe it is a combination of all those things. (And a dash of much
wishful thinking!) But really it just seems like another case of 'worst
kept secret in Hollywood.' Kind of like old Anderson Cooper. Or Shepard
Smith. Or Mario Lopez, Jodie Foster, Queen Latifah, Kevin Spacey, etc.

And really and truly, what does it matter? Who gives a flying fudgecicle?

Do we really need to be 'protecting studio interests' from national
homophobia as done in the days of Cary Grant and Rock Hudson with
faked studio romances? Are the tweens and old cougary women that
lust after these young heartthrobs going to be undone by discovering
that their sexuality is 'other?' 

Let's get real; if their suspension of disbelief is so poor that they have
to fantasize about only heteros, they're in deep shit. It's not like they're
ever going to actually meet--let alone get busy with--either of these boys
in the first place.

But I guess denial leads to fantasy which leads to hope, and none of us would
have a chance without a little of that.

(I hope the Lautner/Pattinson sex tape gets released in high-def!)


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