Let's just eliminate all the bullshit, shall we?

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Love Us From Afar

Friendship United Methodist Church Lack-of-Outreach Program

Announcement: For Immediate Release

for the designated, privileged few!

Where the crusty, white elite meet to
feign superiority and talk shit
about the 'unwashed masses.'

Come get your Fake Jesus on, today!
(Pending the meeting of basic requirements!)

Non-white, poor, gay,
liberal and other outsiders please
don't apply.
But you can come receive our
rude, smug, condescending
'charity' every third Saturday.
Don't get it twisted;
the pretense of compassion
and love has a very strict schedule
around here.

The open door policy is good for
one day only, and we have
plenty of high quality, self-righteous
mouthpieces and gate-keepers on the
premises to make sure unwanted elements
know their place.

We're wonderful, we know it,
and we're very discriminating in our
efforts to preserve our high-faluting standards.

Jesus saved us, and we're
saving him for ourselves.
At least, that's what those weird voices in our
heads tell us!

Admire us as you drive by!


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