Let's just eliminate all the bullshit, shall we?







Monday, November 14, 2011

Queer Boy Lament

Since moving to the backwoods, it's been hard meeting
new folks, but one thing in particular eludes me; how
to cultivate relationships with heterosexual men.

Now, I have plenty of gay guy friends, plenty of straight
guy friends who live elsewhere, and I have plenty
of friends in general, but it's healthier to have a host
of different types of people in your social registry, and
the one I'm lacking is straight dudes!

Even in these progressive times, guys who dig chicks
have difficulty being pegged as someone who hangs out
with gay guys, mostly because of the tongue-wagging
gossips. Even the most self-possessed of souls doesn't
want a rumor strangling his rep.

But in the small towns in Southwest rural Georgia?
It's really an issue! Every body's in every body's
business, and people's quality of life can be affected
by nonsense. So, even the most steadfast fellas that
might would like to start up a conversation tend to
be intimidated and avoid.

There are also plenty of guys from here who simply
have no (known) dealings with gay guys, so they face
some fears and questions based on the myths and lies
that exist. This world is one of suppression and secrets,
and that's a hard armor to pierce.

In groups, it's not that big a deal. If someone takes the
lead, others will follow suit. And when it comes to
basic social niceties and pleasantries, you aren't
really putting yourself out there!

But ask for a number, or start talking about something
personal, and you can see the gears grinding to a halt!
It's a bit too much for the country boys!

And there are some genuinely good guys that I
would enjoy going hiking with, talking to, learning from
about the things I'm clueless about (mechanics, wood
working, etc.) while I share my knowledge and experience.
Because, as I see it, that's what it's all about.

We all of us have something to share, and we grow
by interacting with others who have something different
to share. The more different the outlook, the more we
have to learn.

In the scheme of things, I need the perspective and
insight offered from a straight view even more than
I need a romance right now. But the idea persists that
gay guys are only out for one thing.

I need the same thing everyone else needs; to be heard
and listened to, to be respected, to be needed, to have
the opportunity to produce something and be appreciated,
to be a part of something, to laugh, to share similar interests
and to be exposed to new things.

I also need to have relationships that revolve around
mutual interests and intellectual stimulation, not just
physical attraction. Perhaps eventually things will change
and consciousness will allow for it to happen amidst the
dirt roads, churches, and cow pastures.

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