Let's just eliminate all the bullshit, shall we?

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Torn, divided, and otherwise a mess

If you look too hard at something, you can actually start to see
past the reality as all the lines and colors blur together.

If you don't look carefully enough at something, you can miss
the true nature of it.

I have found that most people are a mass of extremes and
contradictions...myself especially, naturally. Wouldn't it be
wonderful if our extremes balanced one another out? If our
alternate theories gave rise to giving insight to one another?

But alas, we seem to stay fixed in our own drab corners of
the universe, using the same specific thinking and the same
limited lens that has always served us. (How well it serves
is up for debate!)

Something gets lost in translation from the concept of a
unified world (and all people equally working in unison,)
and the empathetic and compassionate constructs that must
be manifested for such a transformation to take place.

No matter the idealism in my head, when the time comes to
take a chance and let people in, the old habits reinforce
themselves. I can admire the diversity of others, the input
they have, their differences, their lives....so long as I don't
have to be put out or accommodate or give up anything.
Kind of defeats the purpose.

I want there to be more truth, but maybe others would like
me to learn that our world runs on deception--it's all just
part of the game.

I want things to be different, and others want me to be more
the same.

We all have secrets, dichotomies, dualities, addictions, weakness,
defenses, mood swings, intolerances, pet peeves, idiosyncrasies;
Shit...we're all crazy in some way. Some are just wearing theirs
on the outside.

In the final analysis, what's it matter?
Why do I waste so much time with thoughts that simply serve
to separate me from what reality is?

Maybe the guy sitting next to me wonders the same thing
himself. Since we tend not to share our fears and worries,
I might never know. Maybe it's better that way.


  1. The Truth is overrated.. (c: it's only as good as how we apply it to our lives

    I remember being afraid to try something new because it seemed like every time I went in a direction, the people along that path told me there was no other way. Happened every time. I became convinced that my own way could never work, because that's what I was told. That it was impossible. So what's the point in trying anyways? Well maybe that's the case, maybe not.

    but I don't really think anymore that it matters what I believe. And my path doesn't really matter either. all that really seems to matter is how I live my life each day. am I happy? do I get stuff done to help move me along? does what I'm doing seem realistically important to my happiness? stuff like that i suppose.. take a bit of everything, take a lot of nothing, or everything of something. it's all the same if we are content.

  2. Thanks, Ben.

    The Indigo Girls song 'Closer to Fine' has some brilliant insights. "The less I seek a source for some definitive, the closer I am to fine." When I let go of absolutes and fixed notions, both my own and the ones I have been burdened with, I feel free.

    Stepping back from a black-and- white, fervently demanded Answer seems to produce the best results. And it may take me on a very lonely path. The less that I'm frightened by that prospect, the more I gain from it.

    Peace, my friend.

  3. Well, it sure may seem a lonely way to go at the beginning. But life is full of surprises. WE are full of surprises. That isolation thing could be another one of those "possibly doesn't have to be that way" misconceptions we bought into when we attempted the well-trodden path.

    It's peculiar what we choose to believe and what we choose to ignore.