Friday, March 18, 2011
What does a predator look like?
Most predators assault between 75 and 100
victims in their lifetime. Keep in mind that that is
an average number of people hurt by someone
that get tracked down. That get reported. That
Most abuse goes unannounced. Most goes
untreated. Most goes unstopped. Most goes
Our society is so afraid of having horrible acts
be real that they choose to overlook them and
ignore the signs. Pretending it isn't happening is
the same as it not really happening. (Only nothing
could be further from the truth.)
A society of denial and quiet creates a place
where abusive behavior thrives. People are afraid
to speak up, afraid to question and be wrong,
reluctant to believe kids when they reveal what's
happening, and so on. And predators depend on this
very thing to prosper.
No one looks into why that guy is so friendly
with the young boys who have no father.
No one questions why that woman is so aggressive
and domineering with those children.
No one wants to go up against the 'pillar of the
community' despite everyone knowing he's up to no
Predators get a free pass, unless they look like
someone who's crazy or homeless; then we get all
fired up because it's some easy-target outsider. But
like all other arenas, the juggernauts do what they will.
Some even dare you to do something about their
exploits. They get a kick out of operating 'in plain sight.'
Whether abuse is emotional, physical, sexual,
mental, or spiritual, the pain of being tortured and
terrorized carries with most people for a lifetime.
The scars show up in every relationship. Most
addicts have suffered at the hands of an abusive
personality (or a string of them.) Most abusers come
from a background of victimization.
If you have survived abuse, the future doesn't have
to be bleak. But at some point, dealing with the
reality of what happened is crucial. The trauma--and
how we responded to it--is typically behind every
major life issue we face as an adult.
There's a group specific to the needs of men dealing
with sexual abuse. It is:
The Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network works
with both men and women. They are:
Many of us with a history of abuse tend to draw
abusive people to us. For overcoming a domineering
and abusive person in adulthood, this is a good source:
We're not kids anymore.
We aren't powerless.
We don't have to live as victims.
We don't have to live anyone's life except our own.
Speak up, stand up, but don't give up.
Find a reliable source of hope and help
in your journey to becoming whole.
As always, if you need more information or help,
contact me directly at firstname.lastname@example.org
or post a request anonymously to the blog.
A whole life is possible.