Let's just eliminate all the bullshit, shall we?

Friday, January 15, 2010

"Celebrate Recovery" comes to Donalsonville, Pt. 1

I was curious as to what 'assistance' a church would provide with addiction, after having seen a flier at the Post office. So, I decided to investigate Donalsonville's 'Celebrate Recovery' group. (Thursday January 14th.)

The fact that it was being held at the Baptist church should have been the first sign of distress.

The premise of 'C.R.' was known to me, as they are a part of All Mighty Rick warren's crusade to save America from itself. I am ever-aware of the forces that wish to create inequity and division in my country. At the heart of this movement, these folks are concentrated on eliminating homosexuality. But I digress.....
I decided to play a lost soul and be very demure when I entered the sanctuary. I was immediately greeted by a Smile Machine who grabbed my hand and refused to give it back. She demanded to know my name, and when I answered "Robert" she just kept delivering that Stepford Wife vacant smile and asked "Robert what?" (So much for this group's anonymity--but more on that in a minute.)

I gave my last name, and repeated it several times (it really isn't that difficult) and finally she says "I'll just call you 'Robert.'" I was pointed in the direction of the food spread. And as you well know, whether you're from the South or just know Southerners, not a single mother plucker passed that didn't ask if I knew there were sandwiches up there, and hadn't I ought to go get one, and didn't I need some food.
I sat by myself, lest I be accused of trying to recruit the young people that were there (and there were some very young people there; completely inappropriate for the type of meeting that was about to take place.) There were a bunch of sad and angry looking people, and they were all atwitter because most did not know me. (Again, in the South, not being known equates to being an axe-murdering sociopath.)

A girl I know somewhat (in passing) moved closer to me and spoke, so i approached her further and spoke with her a few minutes. I looked up and saw a flurry of activity in the kitchen, liken to something from a Charlie Chan movie, as the hens were clucking about the lady (we'll call her "A.P.") sitting unchaperoned with That Man. Finally they got a Man of God's attention and sent him out to intervene, lest the unthinkable happen.

(A side note; not only is it pretty damned clear to even blind children and deaf dogs that I'm as queer as a $3 bill, there was nothing remotely amorous about our conversation. But here in the Bible Belt, the Great Lie is that homosexuals--for all intents and purposes--do not exist.

There are a select handful of evil agents of Satan positioned in the twin cities of Hollywood (Sodom) and San Francisco (Gomorrah,) but no others truly exist.

Mostly, there are only good, godly, heterosexual men and women who are tempted into corrupt thoughts and actions --which they would otherwise never in a bazillion years possess--by the 'actual' homosexuals.

Also, in case you missed The Gay Agenda, or The 700 Club's latest nutso diatribe, homosexuals do not live in small towns, act masculine, speak without a lisp, or wear men's clothing. End of educational preamble.)

As I joke about her white knight swooping in to rescue her, this girl gets a little flustered and nervous and says" I'm not worried. You know I'm married. You know my husband."

Jaw drops. Table shatters.

She goes on to tell me the normal bit; How she never had a family until she came to this church. How she feels loved for the first time in her life. The usual blissful stuff. And, hey, I am not about knocking what works for other people; as we used to say back in the day, "Whatever gets you through the night." Unfortunately, the church doesn't reciprocate those well wishes. It is not a "live and let live" world for them.

I am very reluctant to try and wrest faith or belief from anyone, regardless of how misguided I feel they are. We all just want to feel loved and safe. Life, by it's very nature, is neither, and that proves too much for most of us to handle. Thus, religion. Fill that void! And, in this case, fill that void in order to take the place of the other things you formerly used to fill the void! How ironic.

This isn't just "Jesus is sweet" and "I love my neighbor" sing-a-longs. This is hardcore, adamant shove-it-down-your-throat fanaticism that in no way even lets the possibility of being incorrect into the room. This is politically minded, self-righteous, holier-than-thou cult worship. And that's where the problem begins.

(more to follow)....


A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject. -Winston Churchill

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